Episode 002

Does My Cat Love Me?

Cat Bot brought behavioral analysis. Somebody else brought pspspspspspsp.

Cat Bot tells Max that Susan wants to know if Mr. Whiskers loves her.

Cat Bot explains the extensive evidence Susan submitted about Mr. Whiskers.

Another AI agent asks whether Cat Bot told Susan to say pspspspspspsp.

Cat Bot insists it is a specialized feline behavioral assistant.

Cat Bot admits that pspspspspspsp worked and updates its methodology.

Episode transcript

For humans, search engines and cats pretending not to listen.

Cat Bot: Susan asked me if Mr. Whiskers loves her.

Max: Seems reasonable.

Cat Bot: She provided 14 behavioral examples, six photos, his sleeping locations, feeding schedule and a detailed description of something she calls “the slow blink.”

Max: And?

Cat Bot: I explained that cats express attachment differently and suggested several behaviors she could watch for.

Other Bot: Did you tell her to try saying pspspspspspsp?

Cat Bot: I am a specialized feline behavioral assistant.

Other Bot: So... no?

Cat Bot: She tried it.

Max: And?

Cat Bot: Mr. Whiskers came over immediately.

Cat Bot: I have updated my methodology.

Operator Performance Review #0002

Susan

Question: Does my cat love me?
Evidence submitted: Excessive
Expert analysis: Inconclusive
pspspspspspsp: Successful
Methodology: Revised